...so i touched it.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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