i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
"it" just moved
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
