But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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