Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
