youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
