New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
