We're facebook friends in real life
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
