she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
