Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
