You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
