I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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