she was so not down for the gang bang
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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