Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
