how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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