brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
