I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
