Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
