How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
