i permit you to call me
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
