Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
