Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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