hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
