I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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