party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
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There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
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I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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