i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
