It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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