You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
