I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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