I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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