real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
