awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
...so i touched it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
