Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
