Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
