It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
