Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
