how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
