dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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