She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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