I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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