I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
