Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
