There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
