Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
