i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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