You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
