dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
