Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
PANTIES FOUND
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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