Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think a kid would responsible me up
And then my night got REAL pukey
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
