he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
