What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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