i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
