gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
