She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize