Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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