What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
