I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
